“Do I ever wanna die!!?”Actually, will I ever die!!?If yes, How will I die!!? ”
These are the kind of questions that hit me at 11pm right before I went to bed. It was my birthday or should I say my I turned 16 for the 7th year. There is something about growing old…something scary…something…” I’m already scared to even thing about it.”
Now 23 has checked in yet no potential husband since it’s been 5years since I last dated. Life couldn’t get any scarier than this especially for people like me who really understand what God really meant when he was talking about pro-creation.
” You must be a lesbian, how can you stay that long without a guy in your life. Who bore you. I see you parading these men, one after the other. Isnt there any of them who gat ball big enough to ask you out for a date!!?” Sandra gave me that look as she sighs. I knew I will never hear the last of these words now that she composed it very nicely as though it has been how she actually used to refer me as.” We have different timings in life, don’t judge me yet. “I used this excuse one to many times. We had this conversation with Sandra three years ago while we were at her place for a sleep over with some few girlfriends.
” What if she was right!!? “I must admit I have been reflecting to these words over the years and the more I thought about it the more it convinced me until not. I happened to meet this guy who in my last years in campus. He was everything else it takes to impress and a bag of fries.
Christian took me out on that night. Ts all I ever wanted for my birthday,to spend time with him. “How did that make you feel, why do you hide so far from your feelings while you know… you know you’re in love… You…” These were the kind of thoughts running through my mind when I was seated at the couch watching a sequel perhaps to distruct my thoughts though it wasn’t working.
I took my phone and went through my posts and saw how much love people showed me. From Instagram to Twitter to WhatsApp status.”Where do all these people hide away!!?” I kept asking myself these question before I decided to write about my thoughts about how I felt about this day. I was honestly shocked because it was the most views ever got.
I never felt so much love from family and friends in a very long time. For ones I felt as though I was never really a waste of space. All these I awe it to Catherine, I will talk about her someday. Meanwhile, the love, the positivity the energy reminded me of how much I matter and the impact I have in people’s lives.
I sat and thought for a while, what if I was to die, would I ever picked a day!!?
Well, from all what people had said about me on their status, even though not sure of when to die but I’d certainly want or rather wish to be buried on my birthday.
My reason is simple, there was so much love coming through from what people posted about me. The captions were very sincere yet many that I could not have posted all of them. I could not comprehend.
I’d rather be buried on my birthday because it seems to be the best time for people to reflect back on the impact you had on their lives. The Eulogy must be the longest ever hahha naaah, I’m joking. The thing is I believe friend and family have to attest to this. One page eulogy can’t completely describe who I was for the past however years long I lived. I believe one page eulogy will not clarify to the generation that I will leave behind who I really was.
Hhahah actually, what if they’d burry me for two days. Yes for two days not in two day. Notice the difference!!?
Well, I’m not try’na be wierd, of course I can’t die any time soon. I have six children to give birth to and a husband to grow old with.Perhaps even grand children and great grandchildren to take care of only if God will be generous enough.
Today has been the most sentimental day in so many years. I started celebrating my birthday on Sunday 12th this May. Catherine was behind this. Again,I will talk about her another day. Today Christian made my day. He should read this article someday’if I’ll ever tell him if I actually write. ‘
I know I might sound like I’m asking for too much yet ts not like I will be there to witness all of these and hold anyone accountable if it doesn’t happen. But again it is just a thought. Just the same way some thing it best if the get cramated so that the family doesn’t hustle much…. Again it is just a thought.
I love all my friends so much and I would never will to leave you guys any time sooner(die). You all made my day. Catherine made my week. Thank you all for being there. Feel the love.
It is a new genesis. Beginning of something new. Thank God I turned 23 today and every one I love and care about were part and person. Don’t worry about me. I will not die anytime soon. I am here long enough to write for you and to you guys.
Nicole convinced me to write all these encounters about her. She had me pen down every work on her behalf because she felt there was so much to say but impossible to write. I smuggled that blanket tight on that couch with my sleepy eyes.
“If tomorrow never shines on your face, your story must be more prophetic… Probably I’d write, ‘Her PROPHETIC DEATH’ instead.” Haha I joked about the whole article as I tried to dismiss her so that I can sleep.
“By the jus don’t forget to pray. It might give you a leverage into entering in heaven and meet the man about or else…” we both giggled to that fat not do funny joke.
It was already past 1A.M and I had a busy day ahead of me. I refuse to go to the bedroom. We both whispered a prayer together before I literally dismissed her again. She switched of the sing room light for me.
“Sleep well.” Is all I remember her saying before backing out.